Saturday, December 1, 2018

I’ve spent my life waiting

I’ve spent my life waiting ... forever it seems:
  • For my dad to get better and for my mom to get better
  • For my family to be happy and healthy and not always battling something 
  • For me to feel better, to be healthy and free finally 
  • For doctors and more doctors and more doctors to figure how to make me healthier 
  • For me to feel strong to go and explore everything I want to see
  • For me to feel strong enough to help someone like so many people have helped me.
  • Deserving of all the blessings I’ve been given and for that notion that “I’ve been paid for”
  • To matter ( in those big and small ways)
  • To not feel like such a screw up
  • To find a way to help someone with what’ve I’ve learned through all my bumps and bruises 
  • For there to be a reason I’ve been on this forever waiting path
  • To understand and believe 
  • To find love 
  • And sometimes to feel safe again 
Okay end rant and self pity any second now.

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