Monday, October 8, 2018

Beyond exhausted like past physical exhaustion at this point

Well I've been MIA for a bit. I've been so tired lately, I'm on like day 16 of IBS episode and on day 4 or 5 of a test for my specialist. Normally I have an episode for a day or so and I'm able to work throughout and I'll have a week to a couple of weeks before I have another one. But no not anymore. And I'm so over it and so mad it's not even the slightest bit funny.

Ever reach that point? You're tired of hurting, trying of cabin fever and you're whole life forced to be contained to within four walls.

Fall is starting here and I live in the foothills of the gorgeous Blue Ridge Mountains. I want to go out and hike. I want to go to my favorite orchard, climb on a hay bale, pick some gourds and pumpkins, feed the donkey that's been around forever, and stuff myself on amazing apply doughnuts. I want to play on my friend's farm and hear about their recent birthday.

What I don't want is to be stuck indoors running between my bed, my couch, and my bathroom. Going to doctor to doctor to lab for what. What's gonna change? More medical bills, more visits. I'm so tired of this stupid merry-go-round. This "Hope's Still Here" girl is barely holding on to a silver of hope that I pass out from exhaustion before my head begins to spin and my body finally stops trying to kills me or at the very least make me miss my favorite season.


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