Maybe its more of a dance than a backslide says a very cautious optimistic me
One woman's exploration into discovering how surviving and living have been two different things in her life. Her risky desire to be vulnerable and honest in a world that doesn't always support those ideas. One woman's desire to show others that hope can still be found in her life and theirs.
Saturday, August 25, 2018
One Step Forward, Three Steps Back
Do you ever feel like you make one step forward only to shoved backwards in the next breath? I hate it. I feel like I'm doing the work: my healthy food choices, trying to exercise more, being conscious of my finances, and being very aware of my stress level. All things that I have been encouraged to do to create a healthy balance to better maintain my IBS and GERD. I have been going to counseling, reading, writing in my journal and here, and living a life more intentionally which were moves I have been encouraged to do to better manage my anxiety. And yet every step feels like I'm walking uphill through knee - high muck; earning every moment of clarity, peace, and "normalcy". Even when I make those gains it feels like a couple days later I'm back where I started or I'm triggered into responding to a situation not at all how I want to but more emotionally, loudly, and over-sensitized. I fight to earn every moment of progress only to feel like I've lost it a few days later. This whole process is just exhausting. Anybody feel like that? This I tunnel back into myself until I feel a little bit stronger. Trying really hard to do that this time.
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